Family Home Evening Lesson #3 based on the LDS Church's Addiction Recovery Program
Purpose: Help family members understand that full repentance helps us overcome our weaknesses and develop charity, the pure love of Christ.
Preparation:
Provide each family member with a pencil and a small notebook they can use as a journal.
Scripture:
"I would that ye would come forth and harden not your hearts any longer; for behold, now is the time and the day of your salvation; and therefore, if ye will repent and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you.
"For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors" (Alma 34:31–32).
Song: “Come Unto Jesus” (Hymn #117)
Story:
In his 1998 April conference talk, Elder Robert D. Hales recounted the story of a 1968 marathon runner named John Stephen Akhwari from
Discussion Questions:
Quote:
"You must restore as far as possible all that which is stolen, damaged, or defiled. Willing restitution is concrete evidence to the Lord that you are committed to do all you can to repent” (Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 102; or Ensign, May 1995, 76).
Role Play or Discussion:
Ask volunteers to suggest situations for which they feel family members may need to make amends. Then ask them to act out or discuss how they can make full restitution in those situations. The following information from the Addiction Recovery Program manual will help you teach correct principals:
It is very important that you are not impulsive or careless as you attempt to make amends. It is equally important that you do not procrastinate making amends. Pray for the Lord’s guidance and consult with a trusted adviser for help to avoid these pitfalls.
If those you seek to make amends with give you the chance to apologize, be brief and specific about the situation you remember. Details are not necessary. The purpose is not to explain or describe your side of things. The purpose is to admit those wrongs you have committed, offer an apology, and make restitution wherever possible. Do not argue with people or criticize them, even if their response is not favorable or accepting. Approach each person in a spirit of humility, offering reconciliation, never justification.
In other cases, you may have no way of making amends directly. The person may be dead, or you may not be able to discover where he or she lives. In such cases, you can still make amends indirectly. You can write the person a letter expressing your regret and desire for reconciliation, even if the letter cannot be delivered. You can give a gift to the person’s favorite charity. You can find someone who reminds you of that person and do something to help him or her. Or you may be able to do something to help a member of the family anonymously.
(Reconciliation) must never lead to the further harm of others. Also, at times you may have caused harm that is beyond human ability to repair. Elder Neal A. Maxwell spoke of this reality: “Sometimes . . . restitution is not possible in real terms, such as when one contributed to another’s loss of faith or virtue. Instead, a subsequent example of righteousness provides a compensatory form of restitution” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1991, 41; or Ensign, Nov. 1991, 31). From the moment you decide to adopt these true principles as your new way of life, you begin to make amends.
You may still have one or two people you feel like you cannot face. Do not despair. . . We recommend you take your feelings to the Lord in honest prayer. If you still have great fear or anger toward an individual, you probably should postpone meeting with him or her. To overcome negative feelings, you could pray for charity and to see the person as the Lord sees him or her. You could look for positive reasons why restitution and reconciliation will help. If you do these things and are patient, the Lord can and will—in His own way and in His own time—give you the ability and the miraculous opportunities to be reconciled to everyone on your list.
Developing Charity
Scripture:
Mosiah 4:11-12, 26
11 And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have tasted of his love, and have received a remission of your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel.
12 And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true.
26 And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you—that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God—I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants.
Chalkboard discussion:
Now that we have made restitution and done all we can to put ourselves in harmony with the commandments of the Lord, we have at least partially entered into His rest; remaining there is now our greatest desire. What can we do to ensure we keep ourselves in harmony with God and continue on His path to further righteousness?
List family member’s ideas on a chalkboard, whiteboard, or a large piece of paper. Include the following ideas in your discussion. You may wish to refer to the following scriptures: D&C 88:63; 1 Thessalonians 5:17–19; 2 Nephi 32:3; Luke 22:32; D&C 64:33; D&C 31:11–13.
Quote:
“It is part of the gift of charity to be able to recognize the Lord’s hand and feel His love in all that surrounds us. At times it will not be easy to discover the Lord’s love for us in all that we experience, because He is a perfect, anonymous giver. You will search all your life to uncover His hand and the gifts He has bestowed upon you because of His intimate, modest, humble way of granting such wonderful gifts. . . Brothers and sisters, as an especial witness of Christ, I bear testimony to you again of the overwhelming love of God for each of us personally. Magnifying that gift from God will bring a new heart, a pure heart, and ever-increasing love and peace. As we increasingly think and act like Him, the attributes of the natural man will slip away to be replaced by the heart and the mind of Christ. We will become like Him and then truly receive Him” (Elder Gene R. Cook of the Seventy).
Conclusion:
Bear your testimony of how full repentance of sin and weakness will cause us to change our ways, correct our course in life, and draw closer to God.
Quote:
“Converted means to turn from one belief or course of action to another. Conversion is a spiritual and moral change.Conversion implies not merely mental acceptance of Jesus and his teachings but also a motivating faith in him and his gospel—a faith which works a transformation, an actual change in one’s understanding of life’s meaning and in his allegiance to God in interest, in thought, and in conduct” (Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Guatemala Area Conference 1977, 8).
Journal Entry:
Write your testimony of how your efforts to overcome your weaknesses have converted your heart more fully to God. Record any spiritual feelings and experiences you have had through this process. Express your gratitude for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in your writing.
End
REPENTANCE
Lesson 2
A series of Family Home Evening lessons based on the
Help family members understand when we truly repent and partake of the gift of the Atonement, we grow closer to God.
Preparation:
Ask a volunteer to walk back and forth across the room. Ask: Was it difficult for you to accomplish this task?
Now have the same volunteer hold the chain or other heavy object you’ve provided and again walk back and forth across the room. Ask: Was it any more difficult to accomplish this task?
In the story, “A Christmas Carol,” by Charles Dickens, Scrooge’s deceased friend, Jacob Marley, appears to Scrooge as a ghost carrying a long and heavy chain which represents the injustices and sins he committed in his life.
How are our sins and weaknesses like carrying a heavy chain through life?
At the conclusion of Lesson 1, we completed an assignment which helped us recognize our weaknesses, chose one to overcome, and considered our actions related to that weakness. Very likely, those actions have hurt others. What must we now do to be cleansed of those transgressions or sins? (Repent)
Confession
In order to fully repent, we must first confess our sins and weaknesses.
Quote:
Spencer W. Kimball said: “Repentance can never come until one has bared his soul and admitted his actions without excuses or rationalizations. . . . Those persons who choose to meet the issue and transform their lives may find repentance the harder road at first, but they will find it the infinitely more desirable path as they taste of its fruits” (“The Gospel of Repentance,” Ensign, Oct. 1982, 4).
Discussion Questions:
Who must we confess our sins to?
Note: If the sin is serious, we must confess them to the proper priesthood authorities. Otherwise, this quote by President Brigham Young may be helpful in your discussion.
“When we ask the brethren, as we frequently do, to speak in sacrament meetings, we wish them, if they have injured their neighbors, to confess their wrongs; but do not tell about your nonsensical conduct that nobody knows of but yourselves. Tell to the public that which belongs to the public. If you have sinned against the people, confess to them. If you have sinned against a family or a neighborhood, go to them and confess. If you have sinned against your Ward, confess to your Ward. If you have sinned against one individual, take that person by yourselves and make your confession to him. And if you have sinned against your God, or against yourselves, confess to God, and keep the matter to yourselves, for I do not want to know anything about it” (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [1954], 158).
How can confessing your sins to God give you courage and strength to confess to another person?
How would your behavior change if you were only concerned about looking good to God?
Journal Entry:
Consider how holding back part of your confession undermines the sincerity of your efforts. What part of your inventory, if any, are you tempted to hide?
Forsaking Sin Leads to a Change in Heart
After the rigorous emotional and spiritual cleansing of recognizing and confessing our sins and weaknesses, we may be amazed at the transformation in ourselves as we begin to abstain from our weaknesses. We likely pray and study our scriptures more diligently and keep other commandments more readily. As time passes, however, we may notice that avoiding our weaknesses and sins is not enough. We want to lose even the desire for that sin.
Scripture:
“By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (D&C 58:43).
Question:
What can we do to rid ourselves of our desires return to our weaknesses and sins? (See
Quote:
President Ezra Taft Benson said: “The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature. . . May we be convinced that Jesus is the Christ, choose to follow Him, be changed for Him, captained by Him, consumed in Him, and born again” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1985, 5–6; or Ensign, Nov. 1985, 6–7).
Journal Entry:
What obstacles—including attitudes and feelings—keep you from giving away “all [your] sins” and more fully receiving the Spirit of the Lord?
List your chosen character weakness and next to it write the strength it may become as you come unto Christ.
Quote:
"No matter what the source of difficulty and no matter how you begin to obtain relief . . .The final healing comes through faith in Jesus Christ and His teachings, with a broken heart and a contrite spirit and obedience to His commandments” (Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1994, 9; or Ensign, May 1994, 9).
Question:
What have you learned about the Savior that has helped or influenced your desire or ability to change your behavior?
Press Forward
Just as the people of
What can we do to make the atonement more meaningful in our lives? (Ponder the words of the sacrament prayer, pray for God to help us do what we can not do for ourselves, keep the commandments and thereby show our love for God.)
Scripture:
Mosiah 4:9–12
Quote:
"When the Atonement and our repentance satisfy the laws of justice and mercy, we are, in effect, free from sin. But just as the sinless Christ was “made perfect” through interaction with his Father’s grace, so his atoning grace can move us beyond the remission of sins to the perfection of a divine nature. Those who inherit the celestial kingdom are “just men made perfect through Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, who wrought out this perfect atonement through the shedding of his own blood” (D&C 76:69; emphasis added). As
Scripture:
“Whosoever doeth this shall be found at the right hand of God, for he shall know the name by which he is called; for he shall be called by the name of Christ” (Mosiah 5:9).
Most of us think of taking Christ’s name upon us in context of baptism and the sacrament, and rightly so. What might it mean to be called by the name of Christ and to have His reputation as your own?
Journal Entry:
Write about the feelings you experience when you think of His willingness to give you His name or reputation in exchange for all your shortcomings.
Assignment:
Ask family members to apply the principles you’ve discussed in this lesson by confessing their sin/weakness to the proper persons, avoiding the weakness, and seeking help from Christ to overcome the desire to participate in that weakness or sin.
Conclusion: Bear your testimony of your love for and trust in our Savior.
Scripture:
“Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God … giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. … They that wait upon the Lord shall … mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isa 40:28-31).
End
Years ago, I had the impression I should write a song, but I had no idea how I could accomplish such a task. Yes, I’d had musical training in voice and piano, but very little theory training, and even less in musical composition. Worse, I’d only been married for a few years and didn't own a piano. I simply couldn't do it, and even if I could, why would God want me to do it?
I pondered that problem for some time and finally confessed my struggles to my husband. He said, “If the Lord told you to do something, He’ll help you find a way.” His convictions gave me the courage to move forward, but still I wondered “why.”
Finally, after months of personal study, struggle, and prayer, I completed it. After that, still trying to find the answer to “why,” I performed the song in church and family settings, but I still didn't’t receive a confirmation of its purpose. I was beginning to wonder if the only reason I’d been “assigned” to write it was so I could learn more about music. One day, the answer came: I needed to give the song to a relative I barely knew. It was meant for her. Again, “why?”
Like I said, I barely knew the girl, so I still don't know why I needed to write and give it to her, but I did feel like my gift touched her heart, at least a little, and reminded her that Heavenly Father was aware of her.
I learned a profound principle through that experience: the worth of the soul is great in the sight of God. Think of it. Writing that song was not easy for me. I had to struggle and study. I had to invent ways to compensate for my lack of resources. I had to pray. And when I completed the “assignment,” I learned its “only” purpose was to touch, perhaps, the heart of one soul. Needless to say, that witness humbled me.
I have since gathered a few “Worth of Soul” quotes I’d like to share here. Most, if not all, you may have heard before, but like the simple testimony of the song, “I am a Child of God,” their repetition and simplicity do not negate their power.
1) Jesus Christ:
"What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?
"And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.
“And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.
“I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.” (Luke 15:4–7.)
2) President Thomas S. Monson:
“In March of 1967, early in my service as a member of the Council of the Twelve, I was attending a conference of the Monument Park West Stake in
“When it was his opportunity to participate, President Child took in hand the Doctrine and Covenants and left the pulpit to stand among the priesthood brethren to whom he was directing his message. He turned to section 18 and began to read:
“’Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.
“And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!’”
“President Child then raised his eyes from the scriptures and asked the brethren: ‘What is the worth of a human soul?’ He avoided calling on a bishop, a stake president, or a high councilor for a response. Instead, he selected the president of an elders quorum—a brother who had been a bit drowsy and had missed the significance of the question.
"The startled man responded, ‘Brother Child, could you please repeat the question?’
"The question was repeated: ‘What is the worth of a human soul?’
“I knew President Child’s style. I prayed fervently for that quorum president. He remained silent for what seemed like an eternity and then declared, ‘Brother Child, the worth of a human soul is its capacity to become as God.’
“All present pondered that reply. Brother Child returned to the stand, leaned over to me, and said, ‘A profound reply; a profound reply!’
3) Elder Boyd K. Packer:
“no greater ideal has been revealed than the supernal truth that we are the children of God, and we differ, by virtue of our creation, from all other living things” (Ensign, May 1992, p. 67).
4) Elaine L. Jack:
“Over and over again, the Lord assures us of our worth and value to him. In D&C 18:10–11, he admonishes us to ‘remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;
“’For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him.’
“Our eternal worth is given to us by God; it cannot be manipulated or decreased by anyone. Of course, if we are not living the commandments, we may lose sight of our divine worth and potential. Nevertheless, each soul’s inherent worth is always great in the sight of our loving Heavenly Father. I think that is imperative to know! Worthlessness is not an option for anyone.”
5) Marvin J. Ashton:
“A wise teacher and stake Relief Society president … flashed a large picture on a screen. It showed a bright-eyed boy with unkempt hair and folded arms, deep in thought. The caption read, ‘I know I’m somebody ‘cause God don’t make no junk.’ Please let me repeat, ‘I know I’m somebody ‘cause God don’t make no junk.’"
"Junk" has been defined as discarded, useless, meaningless matter, and yet too many times we compare ourselves to it. Even when I'd received the impression to write the song, I doubted both my ability and my worth to do it. I was a mere "nobody," right? Wrong. My testimony, added to those I've listed above, is I, like you, am a Child of God. We are matter organized for specific, eternal purposes. We, collectively and individually, are those Jesus Christ sacrificed His life and blood for. In truth, it isn't self-deprecation we should feel. It's eternal amazement.
The fourteen through eighteen-year-olds in our stake recently attended a pioneer trek youth conference. They, like our ancestors, faced torrential rain, lack of food and sleep, difficult terrain, and frequently altered courses due to the weather; but also like our forebears, they learned a vital, eternal lesson: we, the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are all in “this”—life, the church, and furthering God’s work—together.
There are many steps to achieving this accord, such as unified prayer, repenting of our sins, and forgiving others; but another important but often overlooked requirement is receiving, accepting, and fulfilling callings from our Priesthood leadership. In truth, how we respond to our callings holds at least three eternal consequences.
1) Consider the scriptural account of Christ gathering his disciples. While walking by the
In the preceding texts, I bolded the words “follow,” “called,” and “chose,” because they indicate that before Christ can “choose” his elect, he will first “call” them: “There has been a day of calling, but the time has come for a day of choosing; and let those be chosen that are worthy. And it shall be manifest unto my servant, by the voice of the Spirit, those that are chosen; and they shall be sanctified” (D&C 105:35-36). Thus, if we do not initially accept the call to follow Him, how can we hope to be sanctified among His elect at the last day? The parable of the ten virgins in which half were excluded from the bridegroom’s feast reveals similar repercussions (Matt. 25:1-13).
2) Christ said, “whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same” (D&C 1:38). Thus, any calling we receive through Priesthood authority is an invitation from Christ to follow Him, to become like Him, to learn to know Him. President Howard W. Hunter described it this way:
"The Lord’s invitation to follow him is individual and personal, and it is compelling. We cannot stand forever between two opinions. Each of us must at some time face the crucial question: “Whom say ye that I am?” (Matt. 16:15) Our personal salvation depends on our answer to that question and our commitment to that answer. . . To follow an individual means to watch him or listen to him closely; to accept his authority, to take him as a leader, and to obey him; to support and advocate his ideas; and to take him as a model.”
3) As the parable of the talents implies, we each have gifts and abilities only we can magnify to lift others and further the Lord’s Kingdom. In fact, those are the purposes for those gifts:
"And all these gifts come from God, for the benefit of the children of God. Therefore, let every man stand in his own office, and labor in his own calling; and let not the head say unto the feet it hath no need of the feet; for without the feet how shall the body be able to stand? Also the body hath need of every member that all may be edified together, that the system may be kept perfect" (D&C 84:109-110).
True, callings in the church frequently come at inconvenient or uncomfortable times; and often, they seem beyond our abilities to accomplish them, but are those satisfactory reasons not to accept them? Each of us, just like our forefathers, must answer that question for him or herself; but I hope, before we do, we will ponder this statement by President James E. Faust:
"To stay on the right track, we must honor and sustain those who hold the presiding priesthood keys. We are reminded that many are “called, but few are chosen.” When are we chosen? We are chosen by the Lord only when we have done our best to move this holy work forward through our consecrated efforts and talents."
They’re everywhere: faithful yet heart-broken Latter-day Saints sitting alone in Sacrament Meeting because their family members have chosen “other paths.” I know because I’ve not only seen them, I’m one of them.
Not in the usual sense, for I’m not the parent of a wayward child, but I do have other family members who’ve either become apathetic toward church attendance or who’ve lost their testimonies through sin or miss-choice. And it grieves me. Grieves me to the point that many Sundays are tearful days of mourning, days that remind me my family’s opportunities for God’s blessings, including Eternal Life together, are at stake.
And yet, though this Sunday “cry session” has gone on for more years than I’d like to count, I have learned to hope.
One learning experience came while I, as a Young Women’s leader, was attending a Stake Young Women’s girl’s camp. I was participating in a familiar, spiritual activity in which all the participants were blind-folded, given a “name” (actually, I think it was something like an animal sound), told we needed to find the rest of our “family,” and then while holding them close to us, complete a specific task which brought us “Home.” As luck would have it, shortly after I found my family I lost them again. For the rest of the activity, I was a lone person in the field.
Until the end. That was when, after all other groups had succeeded with their tasks, someone noticed I was lost and sent my “family” to retrieve me. Finally, tearfully, I returned “Home.” But I wasn’t tearful because I was embarrassed that I was the last one on the field (though I slightly was); it was because one of Christ’s parables had suddenly become alive in me:
Matthew 20:1-16
1 For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which went out early in the morning to hire labourers into his vineyard.
2 And when he had agreed with the labourers for a penny a day, he sent them into his vineyard.
3 And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace,
4 And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way.
5 Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did likewise.
6 And about the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle?
7 They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive.
8 So when even was come, the lord of the vineyard saith unto his steward, Call the labourers, and give them their hire, beginning from the last unto the first.
9 And when they came that were hired about the eleventh hour, they received every man a penny.
10 But when the first came, they supposed that they should have received more; and they likewise received every man a penny.
11 And when they had received it, they murmured against the goodman of the house,
12 Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day.
13 But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny?
14 Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last, even as unto thee.
15 Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good?
16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.
In other words, it doesn't matter whether my family and I make it to God’s Kingdom first or last. What matters is that we get there. And when we get there, we’ll each receive the same reward: Eternal Life.
A second lesson came while I was praying for a specific loved one, pouring out my sorrow and hopelessness. I felt alone and at the end of my “How do I hang on?” rope. But then, very distinctly, I heard the voice of another loved one who’d passed beyond the veil in recent years say to me, “Don’t give up on . . . .”
Yes, her voice taught me I was not alone in this trial, that our deceased loved ones are working, perhaps mourning for our “lost” family members, too; but mostly, it filled me with hope. I still carry her words and that hope inside me.
Finally, I’ve learned to hope because the Lord has heard my prayers. I know He has. I’ve seen His answers. Sometimes in small ways, sometimes in large, but one answer I’ll share here because I believe it can help others.
Some time ago, I was searching LDS.org for an article to supplement a Sunday lesson I had to give as part of the calling I had at that time. I don’t remember the subject I was researching, but I do remember one article that appeared on the computer screen. It had NOTHING to do with my subject but everything to do with the specific, “wayward child” trial I then faced. It was a talk given by a general authority which told me exactly what I needed to do in this situation (I’ve included it in the following list). I immediately read it, recognized it for the Heavenly Answer it was, printed it, and now keep it in my journal where I’ve read and re-read it almost as much as I read my patriarchal blessing. It’s another one of my life-lines from God, something that guides me as I struggle, worry, and work to help Heavenly Father bring my family—and His—back Home.
Keeping the Door Open and the Stew Hot: Loving and Helping a Wayward Child
“You Have Nothing to Fear from the Journey”
Four Simple Things to Help Our Families and Our Nations
Your Personal Influence
I love General Conference. Always have. Even when I was a kid. Because of that, I wanted my children to learn to love conference, too, in spite of the other, conflicting influences that surrounded them. So this is what I did. And it worked!
Ever since my children have been old enough to read and write, we have made one conference day a "candy day;" meaning, while we listen to both sessions, we take notes. All of us. I take my notes, however, in the form of questions.
When each session is over, I then ask my questions and they take turns answering them. I ask many simple ones, like what was the opening song? Who spoke first? And, "so and so said we should do what if we need help?" (Pray). But I also occasionally ask more complicated ones of the older children, related to specific stories and scriptures. When they answer correctly, I give them a piece of candy (fun sized candy bars, usually). They love it!
And so do I. Not because of the sugary treats (which I also enjoy!), but because I not only have the opportunity to go over—and sometimes reteach—every talk from that session, but I see that my children now have fond, family memories of conference as they've learned to feast on the real "treats" of the gospel.
This activity was amazing! One of the young women's mother told me her daughter, who's usually not very vocal about our activities, couldn't stop talking about it when she returned home that night. To me, that's success!
What we did:
1. They (the Young Men's organization was in charge) gathered random information (description, likes, where serving, etc.) about the current and recently returned missionaries in our ward.
2. They had men from the ward who went to those missions or parents of the missionaries prepare and bring a food item to share with the youth.
3. They had each "mission" set up in a different room throughout the building, and had the youth rotate between the rooms to not only learn a little about that country and eat their food but also guess which ward missionary was currently serving in that country.
4. The Young Men began the evening by quoting Section 4 from the Doctrine and Covenants.
If you try this activity, let me know how it went. I'd love to hear about it.
Although this wasn't an "original" idea, going bowling has been one of our most successful yw/ym combined activities. Even the expense was little compared with the success of the event, for we had youth attend who have never attended a mutual activity before. We even had a non-member relative join us.
Another great thing about this activity was it gave the youth and the leaders a chance to "let their hair down." Sure, the boys were competitive (they still had fun), but the girls just enjoyed their time together by visiting, trying goofy ways to bowl, and laughing. LOTS OF SMILES that night. It was amazing.
For the past three years, a good friend of mine—a violin teacher (and and her students)—and I (with my piano students) have presented a Christmas program of music and narration for a local nursing home. Since it is a generalized program that can incorporate different music titles each year, I thought I'd share it with you, my readers, in case you're searching for something similar.
CHRISTMAS PROGRAM
SONG: JOY TO THE WORLD
NARRATION:
Christmas is a sacred season. It’s a time when love increases, friendships deepen, and hearts join together to celebrate the birth of Christ. Tonight, several young music students will celebrate these feelings and their love of Christ through their music. The first numbers are traditional and folk carols; but just as all things that are filled with the Christmas spirit, their ultimate messages reflect unity, joy, and peace in Christ.
SONGS: GOOD KING WENCESLAS
GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMAN
I SAW THREE SHIPS
NARRATION:
Favorite Christmas symbols also reflect the Savior, such as candy canes for shepherd’s crooks, candles for lights that can not be hid, and wreaths as the promise of Eternal Life. But what about the snow? Could it be that it represents all that is white, and good, and pure? Or, perhaps it is because, that while we know Christ was born in the spring, we continue to celebrate it in the winter because it represents the hope Christ brought to our dark and dying world.
SONGS: IN THE BLEAK MIDWINTER
JOLLY OLD ST. NICHOLAS
SLEIGHRIDE
O CHRISTMAS TREE
NARRATION:
“And (Mary) brought forth her first-born son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn."
SONG: AWAY IN A MANGER
NARRATION:
This is what we think of when we picture Christ’s birth. But what were the first sounds the holy child heard? Was it the gentle lullaby of His mother? The calming low of cattle? Or was it the peaceful jingling of bells—bells worn by lambs?
SONGS: CAROL OF THE BELLS
JINGLE BELLS
SILVER BELLS
NARRATION:
“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of
SONGS: OH COME ALL YE FAITHFUL
HARK! THE HERALD ANGELS SING
NARRATION:
Christmas is a sacred season. It’s a time when love increases, friendships deepen, and hearts join together to celebrate the birth of Christ. It is also a time to remember one of Christ’s greatest promises: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
SONGS: SILENT NIGHT
WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS
End
For Young Women's in Excellence, we had a Personal Progress Pageant.
1. The girls dressed up in prom dresses, either their own or some we borrowed—This gave us the opportunity to "enforce" and talk about modesty, too—and we made banners out of three inch, white ribbon with the name of their value written (sewn) on it.
2. We set up an archway similar to those put together for wedding receptions, placed a red "rug" (I used three, brick red bath towels lined side by side to form a platform), and then outlined a runway with crepe paper.
3. One of the fathers was our MC. He called each girl out, one at a time, from the curtain behind the archway (the cultural hall room dividers), asked her to tell about what she'd been doing in Personal Progress this past year, and then asked her a random, "silly" question from a box which another advisor had prepared earlier.
4. The girls stood on the platform, received a rose and a crown-shaped handout which referenced the D&C scripture about inheriting principalities, etc, answered their questions, then walked the runway. During and after, another father took their pictures. The girls really liked this event—they planned it, actually—we had a good turn out, and it's my hope that they not only felt like Young Women in Excellence, but that their feelings about Personal Progress improved.
Over the years, I’ve gradually come to know this crucial truth: each of us is better—kinder, more talented, more capable of good and noble actions—than we think we are.
My first memory of this developing understanding came when I was a young woman attending girls camp. I had decided I’d watch for the good in the other girls. I then reported to them during testimony meeting that I had found something good in each of them and they could ask me what I’d learned if they liked. After that meeting, a new Beehive asked me to tell her what was good about her. I answered her, and though I didn’t know how my words had affected her, I felt grateful—grateful I’d looked for the good in others and hopeful that I’d lifted her self-esteem.
I’ve had other similar experiences, such as the time I gave a Christmas gift to a girl who not only thought she’d been forgotten, but was perhaps the least accepted, most friendless young woman in the school. I wish I could describe to you how she beamed when I gave her that gift. I hoped—still hope—it made her feel some measure of worth.
And yet, though I hope those things, and though I know, really know, that each of us is of more eternal worth that we believe we are, I’m still subject to thoughts of inadequacy, self-debasing depression, and hopelessness.
Why is that? I believe the answer can be summed up with these three words: Satan the Deceiver. In an article titled “Overcoming Feelings of Inadequacy,” from the August 2007 Ensign, David S. Baxter, said:
The Savior invites improvement to encourage us in reaching our potential (emphasis added). The adversary deploys derision to discourage us with feelings of worthlessness. Satan “seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27). He uses the circumstances of life to drag us down so that we think less of ourselves than we should. He would have us look at how far we have yet to travel and the challenges en route, in the desire that we might give up in a state of discouragement and hopelessness.
Please do not misunderstand me. I fully realize there are biological, emotional, and psychological reasons people become depressed and require medical attention; however, for the majority of us, I believe the fallen Son of the Morning is the main perpetrator. In fact, I recently attended a young women’s camp where we had a special speaker, a Seminary teacher, who taught us about Satan’s tempting devices. One of his statements, which I’ll paraphrase here, made a lasting impression on me. “Think about it. Satan resentfully attacks us through our bodies. He does this because he is forever banned from having such a precious gift.”
Isn’t that exactly what Satan’s doing when he whispers demeaning nothings in our ears? Words that lead us to believe ill of ourselves or slip into depression and/or laziness? I believe it is, but I also believe we do not have to be deceived. We can recognize and overpower Satan’s treachery. Consider Moroni’s counsel: “Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil . . . I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do (and believe) good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God. But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do (and believe) evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil (parenthesis added)” (
With that introduction, let’s look at a few of Satan’s lies and their corresponding, eternal truths. That way, we can judge for ourselves.
First, lets look at a few attacks against the body:
Satan’s Lie: You can’t because . . .
A. You’re incapable.
Christ’s Truth:
Matthew 19:26 “But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.”
President Harold B. Lee: “Whom the Lord calls He qualifies.”
B. You’re too weak.
Christ’s Truth:
1 Cor 1:27 “But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty . . ."
D&C 1:19 “The weak things of the world shall come forth and break down the mighty and strong ones, that man should not counsel his fellow man, neither trust in the arm of flesh . . . ”
Ether 12:27 “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
C. You’re too out of shape.
Christ’s Truth:
D&C 89:3 The Word of Wisdom was “Given for a principle with promise, adapted to the capacity of the weak and the weakest of all saints, who are or can be called saints.”
1 Cor 9:25, 27 “And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. . . But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.”
Satan’s Lie: You have no worth to anyone.
Christ's Truth:
D&C 18:10 “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. . .”
PS 8:5 “For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour”.
PS 82:6 “I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.”
My Thought: An old adage of home organization is “A place for everything and everything in its place.” Since God’s house is a house of order, doesn’t that imply there’s “A place for everyone and everyone is in his or her place?”
Satan’s Lie: Women have less value than men.
Christ's Truth: President Howard W. Hunter, the 14th President of the Church, counseled: “A man who holds the priesthood accepts his wife as a partner in the leadership of the home and family with full knowledge of and full participation in all decisions relating thereto. … By divine appointment, the responsibility to preside in the home rests upon the priest-hood holder (see Moses 4:22). The Lord intended that the wife be a helpmeet for man (meet means equal)—that is, a companion equal and necessary in full partnership. Presiding in righteousness necessitates a shared responsibility between husband and wife; together you act with knowledge and participation in all family matters. For a man to operate independently of or without regard to the feelings and counsel of his wife in governing the family is to exercise unrighteous dominion” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1994, 68; or Ensign, Nov. 1994, 50–51).
My Thoughts: I recently attended a class titled “Enmity and the Mission of Mother Eve” by Cherie Burton at BYU-Idaho’s Education Week. There, she defined “helpmeet” from its Hebrew root word “ezer conegno” to mean in paraphrase, “one who has the power to give help—often someone in a superior position.” She further explained, as far as I understood it, that man and woman were equal in strength and “saving” power; they, together, through their differing roles and unique abilities, had the power to complete God’s purpose of bringing to pass the immortality of man. Some other notes I found both interesting and empowering: Adam’s abilities, as man, had obedience, a sense of divine duty, and a willingness (oath bound) to serve God. Eve, as woman, had wisdom, intuition into the mind and will of God, and the ability to see the “whole picture.”
Satan’s Lie: You’re unworthy, too imperfect, and unable to ever be good enough or “perfect.”
Christ’s Truth: Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”
My thought: This is an obvious example of truth shrouded by evil. YES, we are unworthy, imperfect, and unable to reach perfection ALONE. We cannot cleanse ourselves of sin. We cannot do everything. Nor can we run faster than we are able. Each of these can only be tempered and accomplished through Christ and His Atonement. He’s our Savior. Remember that. He’s blessed us with the supreme gift of repentance. I hope we accept and use it. Remember, too, that Christ didn’t even refer to himself as perfect until after He’d completed His work on earth, been resurrected, and returned to The Father. All things were done in order for Christ just as they will be for us if we are obedient and rely on Him.
I realize these are not all of Satan’s lies nor are they all of Christ’s truths related to those lies. It may also be that other scriptures will more powerfully help you combat Satan, but what I truly hope you’ll take away from this article is you can ignore Satan’s buffetings. Heavenly Father has blessed us with that ability. And even if we don’t yet know what Christ’s truth is connected with the lie Satan is currently hitting us with, we can and must do what Christ did when Satan tempted Him. He said, “Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.” And obey. And believe.
Some may respond by saying reverence is a private feeling or something we can feel no matter what events are taking place around us. Besides, members of Christ’s church are friendly, aren’t they? They work together, too, and they try to accomplish much in a short time.
While I believe such characteristics are good and represent our love for each other and our dedication to God’s service, and while I also believe we can feel our love for Him even as we are chatting or “catching that person we just have to talk to before we leave the room,” I can’t help wondering. . .
Last summer, I toured a Buddhist temple in
I had these same feelings a year earlier when I entered the Sistine Chapel in
Another thought. The same year I toured
The chapel doors seem to say to me, “Sh, be still.”
For this is a reverent place to be, “Sh, be still.”
We gather here on the Sabbath day,
To learn of Jesus, to sing and pray.
So when we come through the chapel doors, “Sh, be still.”
Similarly, Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone in the September, 1976 Friend, described reverence in this way:
“Reverence during meetings is a very important part of the responsibility we have as members of His true church. We are all impressed with the reverence shown by children in Primary who enter the chapel quietly with arms folded. Their reverence is an example that all members of the Church should appreciate and remember when attending any meetings in the chapel.
“However, reverence is not shown only in the chapel. Boys and girls who have learned how to be reverent do not run up and down the halls or yell and talk loudly inside the church. Reverent people also do not offend or hurt people’s feelings or make fun of others’ clothing or appearance. They try to be kind to everyone they meet.
“At Sunday School and sacrament meeting we have an opportunity to show our Savior how much we love Him by being reverent. It is not reverent to walk in and out of a sacrament meeting while it is in progress. We should get a drink of water and go to the rest room before the meeting begins. It is very disturbing to a speaker when someone leaves. The attention of other members in the congregation is also distracted.
“Those who speak and provide music have prayed and often fasted for help with their assignment. The reverent person listens carefully and receives the message from the speaker.
“Determine to be reverent in sacrament meeting by never speaking out loud. Speak in a whisper and then only when it is absolutely necessary. Sing the hymns with your parents. Children have beautiful voices and it adds much to the meeting when they sing. It is appropriate to take the sacrament with your right hand. And during the administration and passing of the sacrament, we should try to think of the Savior.
“Boys and girls who have smaller brothers and sisters should not tease them. They should not keep asking their mothers or fathers to let them take these little ones out. Your brothers and sisters and often older people can learn how to be reverent by watching your behavior.”
As a mother, I have struggled to find a simple, effective method to help my children understand and gain personal testimonies. I have found one such method.
Several years ago,
As the quote ended, her young son’s face clouded with worry. “Mama, do you think I have a testimony?”
Sister Erickson knew that her son was a spiritually sensitive young man who said his prayers, attended church, and tried to do the things that would please our Heavenly Father; so instinctively she wanted to respond, “Of course you do,” but she felt restrained. She looked steadily at her son, silently praying to know what to say.
Suddenly, the light of knowledge filled her mind. She picked up a piece of paper and a pencil and drew a circle. She then divided the circle in half and asked, “Son, do you believe that Heavenly Father is the father of our spirits, that he loves each of us very much, and that he hears and answers our prayers?”
Her son answered, “Yes,” and Sister Erickson wrote the words “Heavenly Father” in the top half of the circle.
Next, she said, “Kevin, do you believe Jesus Christ lives and that he died for us that we might live with him again?”
Again her son answered, “Yes.”
Sister Erickson wrote “Jesus Christ” in the bottom half of the circle and then formed a ball with her hands. “You see,” she continued, “this is the core of a testimony. No matter what else you believe, if the core is not there to sustain it, it will fail.”
After this explanation she asked, “Do you believe in the Holy Ghost and know that He will protect, prompt, and comfort us?”
He nodded, and his mother drew a line straight up from the top of the circle. She then asked several other, gospel-related questions, including:
“Do you believe Joseph Smith was a true prophet?”
“Do you believe the Book of Mormon is true?”
“Do you believe the present day prophet is called of God?”
To each, he answered, “Yes,” and she added another ray to the circle’s perimeter.
When she finished, she referred to her drawing and asked, “What have I drawn?”
“A sun,” he answered.
“It looks like a sun,” she replied, “but what I’ve really drawn is a picture of your testimony. And yes, your testimony is like a sun. Just as the sun gives life, light, healing, and warmth to your soul. As you continue to grow in the gospel, the rays will become thicker and brighter.” She put down her pencil. “Now, do you have a testimony?”
Her son’s eyes opened wide, and with obvious relief, he said, “I do!”
Sister Erickson now witnesses that Heavenly Father knew her son needed to know for himself that he had a testimony. I am very grateful she has shared this experience, but I am even more grateful to Heavenly Father for revealing it to her. Now I know I can not only measure the strength of my own testimony, but I can also teach my children; I will simply start with the Son’s core and work outward.
<< MORE >> (A sacred, musical Christmas program for FHE, Ward Choir programs, or other inspirational services.)
Author’s Note: This program includes a list of hymns which may be sung by choirs, congregations, or family members throughout the course of the performance; however, these hymns are suggestions only and may be substituted by hymn arrangements or other appropriate music.
Speakers Needed:
Narrator 1
Narrator 2
Suggested Hymns:
O Little Town of Bethlehem (Hymns #208)—sung twice
The Lord is My Light (Hymns #89)
Once in Royal David’s City (Hymns #205)
While Shepherd’s Watched their Flocks (Hymns #211)
Who Is the Child? (CSB, pg. 46)
With Wondering Awe (Hymns #210)
Samuel Tells of the Baby Jesus (CSB, pg. 36)
I Believe in Christ (Hymns #134)
NARRATOR 1: Since the beginning of time, prophets have testified that Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, would come to the earth. Moses said the Only Begotten Son would come in the meridian of time (Moses 5:57-59).
NARRATOR 2: Isaiah declared: “Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign: Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14).” And Micah prophesied that the promised Messiah would be born in the little town of
SONG: O LITTLE TOWN OF
NARRATOR 1: Mary, Jesus’ mother, also testified of Christ’s coming birth. Soon after the angel Gabriel told her she would conceive and bear the Son of God, she went to visit her cousin Elizabeth. There, she rejoiced, saying: “My soul doth magnify the Lord,
“And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Savior.
“For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
“For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.
“And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.
“He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
“He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.
“He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.
“He hath holpen his servant
“As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever (Luke 1:46-55).”
SONG: THE LORD IS MY LIGHT (Hymns #89)
NARRATOR 2: Several months later, God fulfilled His promise to the world by sending the Messiah. The apostle, Luke records:
“And it came to pass, in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed...
“And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
“And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of
“To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
“And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
“And she brought forth her first-born son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn (Luke 2:1, 3-7).
SONG: ONCE IN ROYAL DAVID’S CITY (Hymns #205)
NARRATOR 1: “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
NARRATOR 2: “And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
“And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord (Luke 2:8-11).”
SONG: WHILE SHEPHERDS WATCHED THEIR FLOCKS (Hymns #211)
NARRATOR 1: Some who saw the Holy Child may have asked: “Is this the One? Is this truly the Creator of the World?” But others knew the truth.
NARRATOR 2: “And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.
“And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.
“And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child (Luke 2:15-17).”
NARRATOR 1: Because these humble men obeyed the Lord, they were privileged to not only see the Christ, but to also testify of his divinity. They knew that Jesus truly was the One.
SONG: WHO IS THE CHILD? (CSB, pg. 46)
NARRATOR 1: The heavens also declared Christ’s divinity. In Matthew, chapter 2, it states:
“Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the King, behold, there came wise men from the east to
SONG: WITH WONDERING AWE (Hymns #210)
NARRATOR 2: Those who lived on the American continent saw the star, too, but shortly before it appeared in the sky, Jesus Christ, Himself, testified that He, the Son of God, would soon be born on the earth. In the Book of Mormon we read:
“And it came to pass that... the prophesies of the prophets began to be fulfilled more fully; for there began to be greater signs and greater miracles wrought among the people.
“But there were some who began to say that the time was past for the words to be fulfilled, which were spoken by Samuel, the Lamanite . . .
NARRATOR 1: “Now it came to pass that there was a day set apart by the unbelievers, that all those who believed in those traditions should be put to death except the sign should come to pass, which had been given by Samuel the prophet.
NARRATOR 2: “Now it came to pass that when Nephi, the son of Nephi, saw this wickedness of his people, his heart was exceedingly sorrowful.
NARRATOR 1: “Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfill all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.
“Behold, I come unto my own, to fulfill all things which I have made known unto the children of men from the foundation of the world, to do the will, both of the Father and of the Son—of the Father because of me, and of the Son because of my flesh. And behold, the time is at hand, and this night shall the sign be given (III Nephi 1:4-5, 9-14).”
SONG: SAMUEL TELLS OF THE BABY JESUS (CSB, pg. 36)
NARRATOR 2: Christ’s personal testimony, followed by the promised signs, not only saved His people, but also
brought peace and truth to all. This is what Christ always does for us. He teaches us. He
strengthens us. He comforts us in our times of need. But most of all, He redeems us.
NARRATOR 1: That is why we believe in Christ.
SONG: I BELIEVE IN CHRIST (Hymns #134)
SONG: O LITTLE TOWN OF
PARENT: They lived happily in
land.
CHILD: A famine means that the people began to run out of food.
PARENT: Naomi’s family decided to move to a place that had food.
CHILD: That place was called
PARENT: While living there, Naomi’s husband died, and her sons married.
CHILD: The girls they married were from
PARENT: Orpah and Ruth were good and kind, but their families had not taught them to believe in the Lord.
CHILD: They worshipped many other gods.
PARENT: But after Orpah and Ruth married Naomi’s sons, they began to learn about God.
CHILD: And for a time, they were happy.
PARENT: Then a very sad thing happened: both Naomi’s sons died.
CHILD: Now, Naomi, Orpah, and Ruth were widows. They had to decide what to do and where to go.
PARENT: Naomi decided to go back to
CHILD: Orpah and Ruth wanted to go with her.
PARENT: Naomi loved Orpah and Ruth. She knew she would miss them, but she wanted them to be blessed with their
own families. She said, “Go, return . . . to (your) mother’s house: the Lord deal kindly with you, as ye
have dealt with (my sons) and with me.”
CHILD: Orpah kissed Naomi good-bye. She went back to her first family.
PARENT: But Ruth clung to Naomi. She did not want to go back to worshipping idols. She did not want to leave
her mother-in-law.
BOTH: Ruth said: “Intreat me not to leave thee . . . for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will
lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy god, my God.”
CHILD: Naomi knew Ruth loved her. She also knew Ruth loved the Lord. She let Ruth move to
Several years ago, I heard a true story of two sister missionaries in
“It’s a bat,” one said.
To which her companion replied, “No, it’s not. It’s a snake.”
Back and forth the Sisters quarreled until they finally decided to discontinue the fight, step away from their current positions, and approach the place where it had fallen so they could get another, better view. Only then did they learn who was right.
As both a piano teacher and a mother of a sometimes reluctant piano student, these same three principles have helped me encourage both my students and my child to practice when we have bumped into periods of practice resistance. And each time I have utilized them, I’ve kept two of my most important, musical teaching/parental goals: one, my student (or child) and I have retained open levels of communication, and two, they have eventually regained their own desires to practice.
Principle one, discontinue the fight. Just as the Sisters had to stop bickering before they could effectively progress, so, too, must parents and children avoid contention so that the child’s learning can move forward. Music has the innate ability to lift hearts and soothe emotions; it can—and should—feed the soul. That means parents will be most effective if they first refuse to turn a child’s practice sessions into a battleground. The best way to do this is to establish practice guidelines before the student begins lessons so that practice becomes non-negotiable. However, if practicing disputes do arise; further student rebellion can be avoided by simply asking your student why he doesn’t want to practice. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t like the piece his teacher has assigned him. Maybe he feels the piece is too difficult. Maybe he has a personality conflict with his teacher. Or maybe he just had a bad day or is too tired. Only after you discover his reason can you then find a suitable solution.
Second, step away. One of the benefits the two missionaries received from following this principal was they physically removed themselves from their embattled positions. It can provide the same benefit to your music student. Learning an instrument demands hard work and dedication, and just like any other “work,” can be refreshed and even improved by getting away from it; i.e., taking a short, “break.” One effective break is to divide practice time into two or three smaller sessions, such as practicing half the required pieces or minutes before school and the other half after school. Another is to occasionally turn your student’s practicing time into “game” or “variation” time. Consider these ideas:
· Have a family practice/talent show or play “American Idol,” with every family member taking turns practicing her instrument while the others “judge.”
· Adapt board games by turning the instructions on squares to challenging musical tasks. Or play television games like “Hollywood Squares” or “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” with musical questions and terms. There are also several musical games you can purchase in music stores or over the internet.
· Make or purchase flashcards. They can be a fun way to review notes and musical terms; and if you “double” them, you can turn them into a matching game.
· Put each of your student’s practicing assignments on individual pieces of paper and have her “fish” her next task from a “hat.” This option is even more effective if the parent takes a practice turn, too.
· Let your child roll dice or pull a number from a bowl to see how many times she will practice her next piece.
· Offer rewards. Perhaps a candy corn, an M&M, or an apple slice after correctly playing one song. Or keep a weekly tally and exchange, say 20 marks, into a larger reward. Favorite activities are also great motivators.
Principle three, assess the situation from another viewpoint. The way the missionaries did this was to walk to where they’d seen the creature fall from the tree. Sometimes this is what students need to do, too; they need to see their “creature”—their practicing—from an altered perspective. I’ve listed some applicable, view-changing techniques below.
· Make up words or stories to music they believe is “boring.”
· Provide opportunities for your student to perform, other than at recitals. Students tend to rise to the challenge when they know they have an upcoming performance.
· Tape record your student’s pieces so they can not only share them with others but also be the audience of their own work.
· With the help of your student’s teacher, purchase or provide level appropriate “fun” music—pieces they want to play but aren’t required to practice—and allow them a special session of playing only what they want to play.
· Occasionally suggest they “modify” their pieces by playing the legato sections staccato, increasing or decreasing the tempo, and/or tweaking the dynamic markings.
· Let your student be the teacher. Allow him to teach you principles such as how to find “C” on the piano or how to tell the difference between forte and moderato. More advanced students can show you how to distinguish between the major and minor scales or what an inversion is.
· Have your student keep a list of new skills he’s acquired or of all the pieces he’s learned (include the title and the composer). This will not only provide him with a sense of accomplishment but also encourage him to add to that list by practicing.
Last but not definitely not least, allow yourself time to notice the truth—the beauty—of what your student has accomplished. When my friend and her companion finally discovered what had truly fallen from the tree, they marveled. Why? Because it was a snake with a bat in its mouth. Both Sisters had been correct, and both suddenly realized they needed each other’s perspective in order to see the whole picture.
So it is with our children. They need our viewpoints and our guidance to encourage, challenge, and praise them as they struggle to learn a musical instrument, but most of all, they need us to help them cherish the unique beauty and inspiration they are learning to create through their instrument.
And when they find that joy, we, their parents, have all we need.
Check below for further practice tips.